Jehovah Rohi: The Lord is My Shepherd

 

Psalm 23 New Century Version (NCV)

The Lord the Shepherd

A psalm of David. 

23 The Lord is my shepherd;

    I have everything I need.

2 He lets me rest in green pastures.

    He leads me to calm water.

I am researching to see if black sheep in Biblical times were given the same care and protection by the shepherd as white sheep. Unfortunately, after reading Wikipedia and other random articles it appears that no one but me is trying to find the answer.

You see I am a black sheep and black coloring in sheep is a recessive gene. From what I can deduce (and it’s not much) other sheep seem to know there is something a bit different about a black sheep and usually aren’t as welcoming to her in the flock.  Being a recessive gene also means there aren’t very many black sheep and when one appears, the event is not usually received with joy.

Like the black sheep, I have had to carefully tread through dangerous valleys and over sharp rocks on my own.  More often than not it’s hard to keep up with the herd if they deliberately avoid you or don’t care if you’ve slipped off the side of a cliff.  I’m really trying to find out if Jesus cared the same for the black sheep in his flock?

You may have guessed by now I want to know if I can claim the 23^rd Psalm as a reassurance that it was written for me too, one of the black sheep of the world.  Tears sting my eyes and a sudden thought occurs: Jesus had a habit of hanging out with lepers, sinners and other undesirables of His day, surely, He would have felt even more compassion for the rejected black sheep.  Yes, our Lord loves me too. I am certain.

4 Even if I walk through a very dark valley,

    I will not be afraid,

because you are with me.

    Your rod and your shepherd’s staff comfort me.

 

 

El Roi: The God Who Sees Me

 

 

 

 

 

 

Genesis 16:13 New Century Version (NCV)

13 The slave girl gave a name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are ‘God who sees me,’” because she said to herself, “Have I really seen God who sees me?”

It seems as if nothing has gone right lately.  Between the roof’s constant leaking and things needing to be fixed on the car never a day goes by without something else breaking down.

On some days, even though the sun is shining I can’t see it through the worry and fear for my future.

Today, an Email devotional speaks of the names of God and mentions El Roi,

The God Who Sees Me.  For some strange reason this Name brings me comfort. Certainly if He is the God Who sees me, then, He knows all of my needs.  I think of Scriptures that tell of this “all watchful and all seeing God:”

He has my name written on the palm of His hand, He knows the number of hairs on my head… I feel a sense of guilt because I have not been consistent in my prayer life .  Immediately a thought occurs: His love and care are not conditional. He is not a God who keeps score.  However, if I really saw God as He is would I ever doubt that He has forgotten me? I guess not.

I look out the window and a brilliant blue sky is dotted with white puffy clouds.  The sun’s rays illuminate the landscape and I know I am safe.

2 Chronicles 16:9 New Century Version (NCV)

9 The Lord searches all the earth for people who have given themselves completely to him. He wants to make them strong.

The Journey of Prayer

Job 11:13  Surrender your heart to God, turn to him in prayer

Important questions are answered through prayer.

Insights come quickly — as an idea comes into mind — I know He hears.

What occurs during prayer is profound. He reveals answers to me. He shows me my path and guides me where to go. I don’t know what lesson will be taught nor, what I should ask for but once again, I am changed just from sitting with Him in worship and in prayer.

The insights tumble out. I’m writing as each new thought and idea comes into my awareness. A state of willingness, obedience, surrender and respect stills me and the revelations appear.

Prayer is no doubt the absolute most important time of my day.

Rom 8:26  In certain ways we are weak, but the Spirit is here to help us. For example, when we don’t know what to pray for, the Spirit prays for us in ways that cannot be put into words.

Who Am I?

 

 

Fear of Showing Others Who I AM

Isa 41:10  Do not be afraid—I am with you! I am your God—let nothing terrify you! I will make you strong and help you; I will protect you and save you.

When this blog began a few years ago I decided I would remain anonymous so I could freely share my thoughts and feelings about life.  As time passed and the link was given to a few family members I became increasingly worried about showing who I truly am.  I feared that by knowing the real me, family members would scoff at me, reject me, argue with me and in general, give me negative feedback about my assertions.

I’m still going to keep the blog anonymous but, I am going to be talking about topics I never revealed in great length about myself and how these experiences define who I am (and was.)

These projected writings may not be as polished as some of my early posts.  But, you can be assured, they will be told with gut level honesty.

My intent is not to incriminate anyone or embarrass those who may have contributed to hard times I have experienced.  What I want to present is how these seeming “tragedies, losses and hard times” have defined me.

Stay tuned.

God Bless you all.

Anonymous

 

 

 

 

Forgiveness and Compassion for our Enemies

Mat_6:12 forgive us the wrongs we have done, as we forgive the wrongs that others have done to us.

Col_3:12 You are the people of God; he loved you and chose you for his own. So then, you must clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.

For me forgiveness and compassion for the perpetrator of wrong doing is the most difficult task.  I find that some family members inflict the most hurtful injuries.  Maybe my woundedness is coupled with a deep shock that they are the ones from whom I most expect understanding and kindness.  I have found however, this mercy is sometimes lacking in some.

Regret and the Compassion of Our Savior

 1 John 2:12 I am writing to you, little children, because your sins are forgiven for his name’s sake.

I’ve prayed each morning for the past five consecutive days. I’m not sure if I feel any different but I have been having many insights about my character defects–and, I have many.

Perhaps God doesn’t reveal them to us until we are close enough to Him and know Him well enough  so we are  assured He is with us through the pain of this self-revelation.  I truly do feel deep regret for all the people I’ve hurt through out my life. regret because I know there isn’t any way to go back to re-do or “fix” the retaliatory actions on my part.  Pain because knowing the hurt I’ve deliberately inflicted on others is shocking.

Holy Spirit Guide Us Into Prayer

1Ch_16:9  Sing praises to the LORD! Tell about his miracles.

1Ch_16:23  Everyone on this earth, sing praises to the LORD. Day after day announce, “The LORD has saved us!”

Psa_7:17  I will praise you, LORD! You always do right. I will sing about you, the LORD Most High.

Psa_13:6  You have been good to me, LORD, and I will sing about you.

I just realized something important today, the struggles I have with morning time prayer have been a repeated lament throughout my Christian life.  If I look back through this blog I can see this familiar theme written about so many times.  Over and over I chastise and condemn myself for not praying at a self-designated time… no wonder I so vehemently resist.