Romans 8:39 and Unworthiness

Romans 8:39 (NIV) “…neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Jesus Christ, our Lord.

My Jesus Calling devotional had exactly the message I needed to hear today about God’s love. Up to today, I have been believing that I had to pray more to have God remove my fear and anxiety about my financial situation.  It suddenly occurred to me that I am still struggling with a sense of unworthiness and lack of belief that God could love me.

I recall having this struggle most of my life… feeling abandoned, alone and unloved. How could anyone love me, was my constant refrain. How could God care enough about my present fearful situation to want to take care of me or provide for me?

This morning my prayer is Lord, open up my awareness to Your love for me and help me believe that You love me as Your worthy child. Grant me the gift of  knowing that You will never abandon me or desert me. Help me to trust in You, Amen

1 Chronicles 29:13 and Lavender Air Freshener

1 Chronicles 28:13 (NIV) Now, our God we give You thanks, and praise Your glorious name.

Shortly after letting my cat out this morning a horrible smell slowly started to waft into my bedroom. My nostrils quivered as I tried to identify the sickening odor. SKUNK! I rushed around, almost tripping, to close the remaining windows before my house was filled with the overpowering stench. Blackie must have disturbed the animal and it responded with its natural means of defense.

I was thinking about worry and fear this morning and realizing how overpowering these strong emotions can be in deterring one from having a close relationship with God.  Like the Lavender, plug-in air freshener in my living room that is starting to successfully drive away the negative aroma, thoughts of apprehension can be dissolved by thanking God for what I have in my life. How can one be anxious when one recognizes all the gifts God has given?

Dear Abba, Thank You for all You have done and are doing in my life. Thank You for this time of rest and recovery where I am learning the new skills of living simply and without extravagance.  Thank You for loving me and guiding me back to You. Amen.

Persistent Cats and Matthew 22:37

Matt 22:37 (NIV) Jesus replied, “Love the Lord Your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.”

My cat is so persistent about wanting me to pet him he will awaken me two or three times during the night for more affection. Lately, I’ve had to lock him out of my bedroom in order to get a good night’s sleep.  Apparently, last night I didn’t shut the door tightly enough and he was on my bed at 4:00 AM meowing and rubbing his nose all over my face. Of course, within minutes I was wide awake and unable to go back to sleep. Once awakened, I certainly didn’t feel like doing Bible readings.

After feeding Blackie and letting him out, I did manage to go back to sleep for about an hour or so.  I certainly felt more willing to rest in God and do my Bible readings after getting additional sleep. My first thought was that I had to be as determined as my cat to be in God’s presence in order to be a good Christian. After sitting quietly, however, the thought came to me that in my developing relationship with God, I must remember He is not a ruthless taskmaster expecting me to be immediately disciplined enough to meet with Him no matter how tired or overwhelmed I am.  I am believing that He wants me to discover Him, first and foremost as a loving, gentle Father.

Dear Father, thank You for showing me Your true countenance at this point in my life.  I need Your love not Your condemnation. Thank You for Your grace that sets us free.  Help me to learn more about You as an encouraging, kind Father who first and foremost, wants me to learn to love You.  Amen

*To my readers, if you are just returning to Christianity and you want to learn more about God’s grace there are many resources available at Plain Truth Ministry’s website. Greg Albrecht’s ministry is helping me learn much about God’s grace.

1 John 4:18 and the Realization

1 John 4:18 (NIV) There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

I remember many years ago praying fervently that God teach me how to love.  Somehow, I knew I was in short supply of this important component of living. I remember a short while later seeing hearts everywhere around me: in the clouds, in the shapes of little rocks on the sidewalk, in the foam at the bottom of a teacup, in the swirl of autumn leaves left in a pile outside my window and in newly formed soap bubbles in the kitchen sink.  The thoughts consumed my mind: are the hearts forming in reaction to my request or, have there always been these shapes and I just didn’t notice them? It didn’t seem to matter, I was seeing them and every time I did, it made me focus on a loving God who calls out me from the everyday, mundane order of life to remind me of His infinite love.

I feel like some of my heart has closed off again.  The trials of life and disappointments from people harden it a bit more with each incident. If love drives out fear I need to fill my heart with love.

 Lord, teach me again how to love so I might become closer to You and not be so fearful.  Open my heart to trust in You and Your promises. Amen.

Romans 12:12 and Hope

Romans 12:12 (NIV) Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

As I read my daily devotional “Jesus Calling” and its related Bible verses I realize how deeply ingrained the concept of a fearful, demanding and performance-based God is etched into my brain. Try as I might, when change comes about, I immediately think it’s a form of spiritual retribution meted out by God for some wrong I committed.

Thank God I’m beginning to see the light of day to realize first and foremost, we serve a loving, forgiving God. And… this God is anxiously waiting for us to open our hearts and minds to His concern and protection. He will not give us more than we bear.

Dear Abba, You have brought to my awareness the flaws in my thinking about You. To believe that there is something I must do or perform before I receive Your love is a serious error in thinking. Now that this concept is in the forefront of my thinking help me to remember to look at all situations “as if” they were sent to me for my greater good. All the evidence I need is to look through my past: even through the most seemingly painful lessons in my life, You meant it all for my good. Thank You for loving me unconditionally. Amen

Jude 1:21 and God’s Love

Jude 1:21 (NIV) Keep yourselves in God’s love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life.

I was talking to my friend last week about the Bible and how some people use it as a tool for condemnation. I told her about a scene from the movie, Joshua, where Joshua was being asked by a skeptical and rebuking high priest who was holding up his Bible, “What do you think this book is about?” he asked.

Joshua replied, “It’s a love letter from our Father to us.”

The entire movie is about God’s grace and His infinite love. Did I mention I’ve watched it four times?

At this point in my life I’m being attracted to Christian beliefs that encompass and espouse God’s love, mercy and forgiveness.  Like an insatiable hunger, I’m trying to learn all I can about grace and forgiveness.  Perhaps the places inside me where my own self negation and chastisement are starting to arise will need these new thoughts as a spirit-led counteraction.

Dear Abba, Thank You for guiding me in the direction I must go. I sincerely believe You are with all of us, waiting for to us cry out for Your forgiveness and mercy. Guide Your believers in knowing You love us first and foremost and if we believe in You and Your love You will direct us along the path that brings us closer to Your throne.

Romans 8:38 – 39 and God’s Assurance

Romans 8:38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

My financial situation is causing me worry. I have a tendency to catastrophize and envision myself soon homeless and living in a shelter. I tried Bible readings and prayer this morning but, fear has a tendency of causing trust in God to fade. I opened up a book by Max Lucado, Fearless and I was transported away to the times of Jesus and being reminded of how trusting in God doesn’t mean I’m protected from the adversities in life.  Trust means believing that all things work together for good for those who love God and surrendering to His will guarantees an outcome that is orchestrated by God. If He is with me how can His plans be incorrect?

Dear Father in Heaven, When I look back over my life I realize You were there with me, even in the midst of tragedy and loss You were guiding the way to make good come out of everything. What I thought was disaster and doom turned out to be You looking out for my best interest.  Please increase my belief so that faith replaces fear and I claim the assurance of Your promises. Amen