Rescue Me From Myself, Lord… Sunday

I’ve lost You, Lord. My pride and self-will have pushed You away. I have not made the time for communion with You or your word.

This resistance to my having a relationship with You has become so great. Each morning I feel the prodding to pray: Yet, each morning, I ignore Your nudge. When I deny Your Holy Spirit, my will is in control, not You. I am guided by my own thoughts and decisions. In effect, I am telling You that my own sufficiency is enough… I don’t need you.

Holy Father, this battle with myself is my greatest fight of all. If my will wins, I lose everything. I am a rebel… I resist You because I like to fight, I like to see the results of my own decisions, I like to be in charge. When I pray and am filled with Your Holy Spirit, I am subservient to Your will. I allow full control of every detail of my day to You. I am at peace: faithful and trusting. But, like an out of control see-saw, I keep taking back my will and refuse to commune with You.

I know I am being guided and led when Your spirit rests in me. Perhaps this is my fear? The insights and gentle teachings I receive when You are close are profound and life changing. But, that is key: life CHANGING. The part of me that wants to live in peace and without upheaval is digging its heels deep into the everyday sameness of my life. Lord, I want consistency and stability. I want to rest for a while. Leave me alone. This relationship with You is dynamic and demanding, chaos-making and upsetting. You won’t allow me to stay the same as I am. You shine Your light into the corners of my being to show me where I must surrender, trust and CHANGE and, I resist and resist again. I hold the white flag of surrender, but it is tightly rolled in my clenched fist. Help me, Lord. I need You. Rescue me from myself. Amen

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~ by Andrea T on May 4, 2008.

4 Responses to “Rescue Me From Myself, Lord… Sunday”

  1. Your prayer is so sweet. I enjoy your honesty too!

  2. Now I feel that my mind is my worst enemy….. Please help me GOD!!!! My only choice is to surrender and beg for mercy…I’m standing at the feet of the miracle maker… thats my only hope….

  3. I am at the end of my rope. I’ve lost the hope that I must have to survive. Please pray for me.

  4. hello
    I allow full control of every detail of my day to God, I pray regulary 5 times a day and my relationship with god is the most important thing in my life.
    I suggest u must trust god and be be sure that god will guide u to the best of ur life and to right way.
    U don’t need to resist, just think u do a hopeless resistance, surrender and beg for mercy

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