Isaiah 40:31 And Three Second Delays…

Isaiah 40: 31 (NIV) but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

I’m at the stage of my spiritual journey where I’m acutely aware of my sinful nature. In fact, throughout my, day it seems as if a huge mental fog light searches through the corners of my mind and immediately detects wrongdoing a few seconds before I commit the act, (I call it my Three-Second Delay Phenomenon.) Of course, some sinful things I do have a much longer “lead time” than just three seconds, like the time I called in work “sick” when I really wasn’t. That day was highlighted on my wall calendar more than a week before my imaginary “illness”occurred.

But, it still boils down to the final three seconds before the act where my conscience tells me, “Don’t do it, it’s a lie.” In that eternity of three seconds I feel the internal battle; the part of me that knows if I just hope in the Lord, I will have the strength to resist the temptation to follow through. And, I’m noticing that I sometimes consciously and deliberately choose not to ask Jesus for help, Imagine! My internal conversation goes something like this:

“Don’t do it, Jesus will give You the strength to resist.”

“Hmmm.”

“Just ask, Him to help you, RIGHT NOW.”

“I don’t want to.”

“But…”

“Nope, I don’t want to ask. I’m going to what I want, and that’s that.”

James 4:7 (NIV) Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

I’m still refusing to submit… but, a thought just occurred to me, I can no longer claim that my wrong doings are done while I am unaware, or unmindful of what I am doing (the devil made me do it.) My vision is sharper and more in focus than ever, I am choosing to be disobedient. Thank you, Lord for this cursed awareness.

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~ by Andrea T on May 11, 2008.

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