Pentecost And The Color Red…

I went to church yesterday, for the first time in many, many months. It’s not that I don’t believe in church, I do. I know what I’m looking for in a church “home” and I also know when it’s not what I need. So, I still seek. My son, the Pastor, tells me, “If you want community, create it.” (Who, Me?)

The small-town church, with the white steeple sits unobtrusively on a side street. A young girl smiles at me as I walk up the stone steps to the open door, “I like your fancy shoes,” she exclaims to the woman in front of me, “I love your earrings,” she grins at me. (So young, and already she knows how to instantly connect with someone.)

I sit in the back row.  Almost everyone is wearing their Sunday best: suits and ties, or glamorous fancy shoes with their stylish dresses, and me, I’m wearing too-long jeans rolled up at the cuff, a red turtleneck sweater and a jean jacket. I wait.

As an opening, the female pastor asks us to “Express Community.” Everyone stands and starts to mill about, smiling and shaking hands with each other. “God bless, you, my name is Mary,” says one older lady who obviously just got her hair done (possibly for today?) Another lady, be-jeweled with pearls and cashmere suit, smiles, shakes my hand and says, “How nice to see, you.” After six minutes, “Community,” ends, and we spectators sit down for the rest of the presentation.

It is obvious to me that the pastor is trying her best to create an atmosphere of warmth and connection (she even hugs me as I exit the Sanctuary.) But, as for me, I am spoiled ever since visiting my son and, reading Frank Viola’s articles on House Church, he identifies exactly the nature and essence of my restless “search.”

http://www.ptmin.org/

Unfortunately, I can’t seem to find the church home for me, except in a “community” that is 970 miles south of me, (my son and daughter-in-laws home.) Their Christian Walk is a dynamic, every day, every moment experience “In Christ.” Yet, I still search.

I want my every waking moment to be absorbed in Christ, I want to “pray without ceasing,” to reflect at the end of my day (or during) to a trusted brother brother or sister, “I sinned again, will you pray with me?” I don’t want to sit politely in my pew, once a week, in my Sunday best, listening to sermons from afar, I want to experience Christianity to it’s absolute depths and heights. I want really real “Community,” where my sisters and brothers know my strengths and weaknesses, where I’m pulled along when I’m tired, and conversely, I carry others’ burdens when I my strength is regained. A Community where our conversations talk about fear of witnessing to strangers or, the new person we are bringing to Christ. I don’t want to skim along the tops of Christianity like a water-skier, I want to plunge to its depths, like a deep sea diver’s destination: a place where the oxygen is sparse and not many choose to go.

The service is ending, I hear the words from the Pastor, “In many places, people wear red on Pentecost Sunday.” I look around at the congregation, only one person is wearing red other than me. I had no idea that one wore a “special color” on Pentecost, I wore my red turtleneck simply because it is cold outside.

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~ by Andrea T on May 12, 2008.

2 Responses to “Pentecost And The Color Red…”

  1. It’s hard to find a place where the sense of community is deeper than just a surface friendliness. I’m very blessed to have found a church where people care for each other like family. Your son does make a good point. It takes time and effort to become part of a community, but it’s also important to find a community that shares a mission, not just a social club. Keep searching. God will lead you to where He wants you to be. I love reading your blog. It’s so honest and refreshing. God Bless ~ Your Sister in Christ

  2. […] many places, people wear red on pentecost Sunday.??? I look around around at the congregation, …https://spiritualbattleground.wordpress.com/2008/05/12/pentecost-and-the-color-red/Wearing Red? – Catholic Community ForumWearing Red? Miscellaneous … There is a thread here on […]

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