BLESSED ASSURANCE

Heb 6:18-19 (GNB) 18 There are these two things, then, that cannot change and about which God cannot lie. So we who have found safety with him are greatly encouraged to hold firmly to the hope placed before us. 19 We have this hope as an anchor for our lives. It is safe and sure, and goes through the curtain of the heavenly temple into the inner sanctuary.

Our students came back from summer break yesterday. After two and a half weeks of staff trainings and and working at a normal pace it was a shock. Upon my arrival at work, four students were already waiting outside my office as I was fumbling with the key to unlock the door, my voice mail was blinking with urgent messages, and after starting my computer there were “hi-priority” Emails indicating two tasks that had to be done immediately. In the midst of everything, new software had recently been uploaded on our computers and mine kept crashing. At twelve-thirty, I was looking forward to coming home for lunch, when my office mate reminded me that we had a meeting at 12:45. Also, from 2:00 PM onward my calendar was solidly booked with appointments. Luckily, the manager didn’t show for the 12:45 meeting and I was able to take a short break after all.

I was overwhelmed with stress and discouragement yesterday. On top of the minute-to-minute environmental anxiety, there is unyielding pressure to place higher numbers of students in jobs, edicts to recruit more and more community employer partnerships, and last, I am expected to keep track of the 150 students who are assigned to me. I cannot do this job without God. Yesterday, I am certain, He was elsewhere, other than with me.

I know God’s presence cannot officially be determined by the way I feel, but it certainly helps. Yesterday, I was certain I was abandoned on a tiny island with hungry sharks swimming about. When I repeatedly cried, “Where are You, God”? He didn’t answer.

The sun sets, a new morning dawns, and yet another day begins. If anything, the lessons learned from the anguish of my horrible “yesterdays” are to confirm my absolute need for God. I need Him as much as I require each and every sustaining breath of air in my lungs in order to survive. I cannot exist without Him. When I lose consciousness of His presence every once in a while, it only serves to reaffirm my utter dependency on Him. Without Him I am like a parched desert thirsting for rain or, a newborn screaming for comfort and safety.

Dear Lord, I was alone and afraid yesterday. I know You never leave me, but for a brief moment I lost the blessed assurance of Your presence. Thank You for my growing hope in You, and despite what I experience, You promised You will never leave me. You are my sanctuary. Amen

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~ by Andrea T on July 17, 2008.

One Response to “BLESSED ASSURANCE”

  1. I love you Mom, and I am thankful for the gift of you in my life.

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