JOHN 15:2

I was sitting in a calm, flower filled meadow on a cloudless day and suddenly was overcome by hurricane force winds, and utter chaos. Or, at least, that’s how it felt on Wednesday, when the students returned from summer break. 

In the span of one short year, my job description has expanded to include ninety hours of duties that must be completed in my present forty hour work-week. When the college liaison left, her ten hours of responsibilities were added to mine, and when an employment placement specialist quit, I was required to sign an agreement stating that I understood my job description had changed to also include this added forty hour position. One cannot object or refuse, our corporate culture fires for insubordination. Like the Israelites, I feel like I am being commanded to make bricks without being given any of the necessary straw to complete the task.

Since the students’ return on Wednesday, every action-packed minute of my day has been filled with crisis and urgency. I feel trapped.

I live alone in a small town with a population of 6,000, and twelve miles away from the nearest small city. Every day I come home from work and desperately search through fifteen or more job sites, but, to no avail. God is unyielding and quiet about my finding other employment.

Perhaps I have gotten lax about “putting on my spiritual armor” and I fell into complacency these past two weeks? Or, could it be that God is refining me:

Joh 15:2 (GNB) He breaks off every branch in me that does not bear fruit, and He prunes every branch that does bear fruit, so that it will be clean and bear more fruit.

God’s silence is thundering. Yet, it is in impossible situations such as mine, where He shows His power and might. I must trust and wait, and surrender to His will. He promised He would not give me more than I can bear.

Lord God, Almighty, I feel too old and tired to do my job. At times such as this, the constant anxiety and unyielding stress feel like its more than I can bear. I feel imprisoned by my circumstances and emptied of any compassion to give to others. Yet, I hopefully wait on Your promises. I yield myself to Your will, knowing that You only want the best for me. I surrender myself to You. Amen.

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~ by Andrea T on July 18, 2008.

2 Responses to “JOHN 15:2”

  1. I can relate to this post so well.

    Hang in there, He’s doing a mighty work in you.

    Tim

  2. Thanks, Tim, I already feel better today… it’s noon and I’m home for lunch… and, He is with me. God bless you for your encouragement.

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