Christian Depression Part One

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Romans 8:37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

I feel as if I have emerged into the light of day after being in a deep, dark tunnel. Except, I didn’t even know I was residing in this bleak passageway. I stopped blogging. I also ceased doing other things that make me feel whole. But, now I am feeling better. I know this because the other day, I suddenly noticed all the dust in my house and my living room rug that badly needs vacuuming. Where have I been? Why did I let my house deteriorate into this untidiness?

I am diagnosed with severe, clinical depression. My first bout with this illness took place about twelve years years ago. At that time, I ended up being hospitalized and out of work for about six weeks until medication stabilized my brain chemistry. There were two subsequent hospitalizations, each requiring that I lose time from work for another six to eight weeks, while my medication was again being altered. One would think I would have known “it” was happening again except, I don’t and I didn’t.

Clinical depression is insidious. It’s like sitting in a room where someone is dimming the lights by slowly turning a rheostat switch. If this darkening is done imperceptibly enough, I end up sitting in total blackness without any memory of how “it” happened. And, the only way I know for sure I’m out of the dark is because I feel whole and alive again, later, when my medication is once again altered. When my brain cannot keep up with the demand for the chemicals it needs for the necessary tasks in my daily life I can only see backward, not forward. During this depressed state, I don’t know I’m there; everything feels hopeless and exhausting, and this appears to be just a natural part of my existence. In fact, I only know I have been depressed through hindsight, when the medication once again balances the chemicals in my brain – otherwise, I am not afforded any forethought or prior warning of this impending emotional deterioration.

I will be vacuuming my rugs and cleaning my house this weekend. I also made an appointment to see a dentist and I am going to get my badly needed eyeglasses. I even purchased a can of paint to do over my bedroom. Tasks, that had a fleeting presence in my mind, but were immediately dismissed because I was too fatigued and didn’t care. Now I do. Thank God for bringing me back to life again.

Dear Father in Heaven, I thank You for sending me to my doctor, and for chemicals that make me whole again. Help me to never take for granted the gift of life You have given to all of us. Help me to tell my story in a way that will help Christians not be ashamed of having this illness.

Please read Christians and Depression Part Two, coming soon…

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~ by Andrea T on October 9, 2008.

19 Responses to “Christian Depression Part One”

  1. Anonymous: I know partially from where you are coming as I have depression too and also have to take medication. I won’t write a long comment on this, but I know it isn’t easy sharing this story online; thank you for doing so. Father in Heaven, thank you for allowing anonymous to share his/her story with us.

  2. Thank you, unfinished person for responding to my post. When I was in my depression, I would never have considered writing about it out of fear of what other Christians might say. Now that God has brought me back to life again, I know He wants me to tell my story. God Bless you!

  3. Thank you for sharing your story, big sis. I know how it feels to be brought to life again by God too! Bless you!

  4. I was a sufferer as well. I took te meds and spent a week in a “hospital.”

    I was healed by our Father. You can read the details if you’d like, on my blog under “Looking for Home:My Conversion Story.”

    I’m so glad you’re feeling better anonymous.

    May God’s richest blessings be yours!

  5. I thank God that you have returned back out into the light of the day. May your words and sharing be as a ministry to others who may think they need to suffer in silence. You are an encouragement in deed. God bless.

  6. Thank you, Bryan, actually, I’m still in the struggle…doing much better, but still struggling. God Bles you.

  7. I’m pleased to know that you are feeling better!

    Just out of curiosity, have you ever had your thyroid checked? Sometimes depression can result from having thyroid problems. I know this because I have hypothyroidism.

    Anyway, if ever you need a friend to talk to don’t hesitate to let me know.

    Blessings to you,
    –Chris

  8. Thanks for this blog; it’s a great read. Karyn http://www.christiancupid.com/blog

  9. Hows your week going? Mine is hectic. Is there any thing you would like me to prayer about? Take care.

  10. Hi David, Thanks for writing. I’m doing much better but, I’m still struggling with fatigue. Please pray that I find a balance in my life to sleep, work, blog and do all the necessary things I have to do. With his help. God bless you. (I also had a very hectic week.) I’ll pray for you too!

  11. Thank you.

  12. Mom have you received my call, emails, etc? Hope all is well?

  13. Hello Friend,

    You have been tagged! 🙂

    To find out what this is all about click on the following link: You’ve Been Tagged

    Blessings to you,
    –Chris

  14. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. Philippians 4:6-8

  15. Thank you for sharing. I am there myself, but it is hard to tell people.

    Like you also, I didn’t realise I was depressed for so long until the medication helped me feel that bit more “normal” again.

  16. Hello Sue,

    I was afraid to post this article at first. I’m still recovering from my depressive episode and am just beginning to see the light again. It’s hard to talk about this subject in a Christian forum. What helps me is to remember that the causes of clinical depression are physiological in origin. I’m glad God gifted physicians with a cure for this physical illness. May God keep you and bless you.

  17. “I’m glad God gifted physicians with a cure for this physical illness.”

    Next month I am starting a new med for my ADD. I thought it would be wise to taper myself from my current med. I was okay for about three days. Yesterday my inattentive brain couldn’t hardly function. Inattentiveness, depression, and anxiety stink!

    As for what you said up above, I say “Me too!”

  18. Hi David, Thank God He is with us through our emotional diseases. Thanks for oyur comment!

  19. […] Reading @ Spiritual Battleground: Christian Depression Part One Posts by Anonymous | Site Search Tags: Christian Depression Part One | Simply Ecclesia Twitter | […]

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