Depression and Hope

 beacon640

1 Jn 4:18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

There is no doubt about it. I’m afraid. The cold grip of anxiety clutches my stomach and terror of the unknown beats repeatedly in my heart and thoughts. I was diagnosed with depression and seasonal affective disorder (SAD) ten (10) years ago and during the short days of winter my personality is changed. I no longer enjoy the peace and fellowship with Christ as I did before and I am distant from His life-sustaining Word.

“Pray, read your Bible, go to church,”well-meaning friends tell me. “It’s due to your self-pitying thoughts,” other Christians declare. The fact is, I miss God. Terribly. But, my soul is bound on all sides by a suffocating quicksand that holds down my appendages and prevents me from raising my arms in praise and worship. It’s not that I won’t–I can’t, and that is the difference. There are some who believe that the negative thought comes first to cause depression and SAD. Others firmly state it is a matter of imbalanced chemicals that “taint” the messages in one’s mind. Having suffered with this illness for ten years I know that there is no simple, black and white answer. I just know for me, medication makes “it” better and the destructive thoughts mostly disappear.

During these times of insufficient vitality I listen to as much Praise and Worship music as I possibly can, I also watch inspirational and uplifting video programs on Itunes, last, I have precious on-line friends who are praying for me. Even though I don’t always feel it in my heart, I know there is a hope for the future (when springtimes nears) and I also affirm that God has not abandoned me. It is during these challenging times I try to rely on my knowledge of God from His Word instead of listening to my feelings. Difficult as it is, our feelings can lie, but his Bible is forever true.

Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all hope and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

Advertisements

~ by Andrea T on December 2, 2008.

17 Responses to “Depression and Hope”

  1. In your pain remember one thing, when you are too weary to pray for yourself, Christ himself will intercede for you. He will also burden the hearts of others to keep you lifted in prayer.
    When you have a particularly bad day, focus in on the fact that you are not alone and that help is on the way!

    http://www.mlordi.wordpress.com

  2. I just stopped by to say a prayer for you. May God deliver you soon to the other side of this valley in your life.

  3. Thank you so much Bryan. I’m doing better. I appreciate your thoughts.

  4. Hope all is going well. Your right, depression is not a black and white issue. I want to offer words of encouragement but sometimes I am at a loss for words. How about this, I have two words for you: Arizona and Hawaii. From what I hear it’s sunny all the time. Of course I doubt they have beautiful winters like the northeast does, right?

    Take care and I will keep you in my prayers.

    • Thanks so much for your encouragement David. As for beautiful winters, we just had a major ice-storm and the governor declared a state of emergency. Give me a warm climate any day! God bless you!

  5. Thank you so much for your blog, which I’ve really come to appreciate. It’s so important that we continue as a light to the world, especially as Christmas approaches and so many people are more open to hearing about the things of God. Thanks again, Karyn
    http://www.christiancupid.com/blog

  6. hello–i came across your blog through someone elses–and the title struck me–i, too face a spritual battle ground–and spiritual depression–(you will have to come visit my blog sometime)–this is all something i am all to familir with–and i aks for prayers often–just wanted to say i hope you are doing better–here to give you prayers, support, and hope–and looking forward to reading up on you and your blog
    wendy
    http://sweeteeyore71.wordpress.com/

  7. Hello Wendy,

    I did visit your blog and was inspired by your transparency and honesty. It sounds like we are on similar journeys. I am adding oyur blog to my favorites. I will pray for you. God bless you.

  8. Just came by to say that you are being prayed for and I hope you are able to get back to writing soon. Blog buddy Bryan

  9. just stopping in to see how you are doing–prayers still coming your way–i write what i do in my blog in hopes that someday it will help someone else–sometimes to me the hardest is the “spritual depression” part that goes along with it–and it seems like many don’t understand that with me 🙂 may we continue to hold onto our faith–and may he wrap his arms around us.
    wendy

  10. This is a beautiful and touching write. I work with clients who have depression & my mother also has it. Your have really put into word what I believe those who are trying to live their lives for Christ face and haven’t been able to express. You have really opened my eyes. I will be praying for you and your continued strength in the Lord. God Bless You even more than you have bless me this evening.

  11. There is a show on WSYR CHANNEL 9..In the syracuse area,,called coming to life..on Sunday mornings at 11am and wednesdays night(thursday morning)at around 1:40 am.

    I think it will bless you if you are from this area.
    If not the sermons are here.

    http://alcclife.org/resources/sermons.htm

  12. Thanks so much for your kindness. I did visit the site and will be listening to some of the sermons. God bless oyu!

  13. I understand that this is a difficult season for you. What I have found in my own times of battling depression and loneliness that these were the seasons that God revealed His most precious secrets and mysteries to me.

    It has helped me to keep a journal, writing exactly what I am feeling to the Lord; My ups and downs, and days of not wanting to seek His face. It has been the only thing that has kept me alive at times.

    I hope this helps.

  14. This is David (Simply Ecclesia) I hope all is going well with you.

  15. i was thinking of you today–and wanted to stop in and let you know that–
    wen

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: