Grateful for my Trials…

We serve a merciful and compassionate God.  Since I last posted over a year and a half ago much has happened in my life:   I lost two jobs in a year and a half and was almost homeless.    It’s a terrifying thing to watch your savings and resources dwindle to nothing at 61 years of age.  No one in my family up north could take me in as they all have their own hardships and trials.  I called my son who lives over a thousand miles away and asked if he could help me.  He unhesitatingly said “yes Mom, come live with us”.  Joy and relief gave way to another despair, I discovered it would cost more than what my belongings were worth to transport them that great distance.  I gave away almost all of my possessions… some favorite clothing, many books that had been my friends for many years, trinkets, mementos and  furniture from my three room apartment.  Why was I being subjected to these harrowing trials and tribulations?  I came to South Carolina with what could fit inside my four-cylinder car to start a new life where I knew no one  and to begin a relationship with my son that had become estranged over the years.

I had worked at least full-time all of my life… sometimes two jobs at a time just to make ends meet and was unable to care for my health.  These last two years I had been without health insurance and had a knee that required surgery, disintegrated discs in my spine a digestive disease and a few other ailments that badly needed attention.  My son insisted that now might be a good time to see if I qualified for disability to get proper medical care with my goal of returning to work.  I Applied for disability and was warned by social workers and administrators that the process would take at least a year or maybe two before I qualified.  Truthfully, I compared myself to Job a few times, thinking of how I lost everything… jobs, health, possessions and security.  Amazingly, my disability application only took three months for me get qualified and I had my first doctor’s appointment on February 1, 2012.  The next day I found out that I had two more serious diagnoses: pancreatitis and liver failure.  My knees and spine were now the least of my worries.

Ironically, even though I was initially frightened when I heard the nurse’s voice on the telephone a sense of wonder has overtaken me… instead of bitterness over my poor health I am amazed at how much He loves me.  Had I not lost my two jobs I would have stayed working up north as long as I could, not knowing the diseased state of my major organs and their life-threatening potential.  Instead, Jesus took my life and emptied it and shook it all around to prepare the way for my spiritual, physical , emotional and relational healing.   I have medical insurance now to get proper care for all of my illnesses, also, up north I stopped attending church altogether as I was extremely fatigued by the time the weekend came, now I have two churches I attend (one on Saturday and one on Sunday).  I am starting to make Christian friends, I have a small income now where I can buy basic needs for myself without worrying about being sick and having to take time off work. I lost all my possessions but I gained a warm climate where I don’t have to shovel snow with a bad back and knees and last, but not least, my relationship with my son is being restored and I delight in him and eagerly look forward to seeing him, talking with him and learning all the accomplishments he has achieved.  My love for him seems to know no bounds… and, did I mention that Derek has a Master’s Degree in Theology and has a deep love of our Lord?  Were all these things trials I went through or a miracle from our Father to care for and protect me and keep me from further harm.  I am so thankful to my Savior for loving me and bringing me to South Carolina.

Jer 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

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~ by Andrea T on February 5, 2012.

2 Responses to “Grateful for my Trials…”

  1. So good to hear from you again!! I wondered and prayed for you.
    Your grateful heart is a hymn to God’s power and mercy, and to the greatness of our human condition made to participate fully in God’s Divinity, in the Risen Christ. Alleluia! Praise the Lord!
    Thanks for letting us know, and best wishes for your future.

    • Thank you so much for writing to me! I have often thought of your encouragement over these past few years and wondered about you also. I’m thankful to God for your goodness and the kindness you show to others by providing Spiritual Direction to us and devoting your life to God through prayer.

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