Resistance to Prayer

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September 20, 2012

Eph_6:18  Do all this in prayer, asking for God’s help. Pray on every occasion, as the Spirit leads. For this reason keep alert and never give up; pray always for all God’s people.

I resist prayer in the morning as one who resists cough medicine.  I know it will make me feel better but, I don’t want the bitter tasting medicine to come into contact with my throat.

I was in my car the other day and wondering “Why do I resist meeting with God as I do?”

I think I’m afraid to trust and don’t want to make myself vulnerable to a remote God who seems so far away at times.   But, logically I also know if I keep in daily relationship with Him, I will see the His wonder and experience His mercy.  Oh, I know it’s supposedly not Biblical to trust our feelings over being obedient but, I have felt I was in God’s presence many times.  I have also internalized the condemnation of other Christians who have chastised me and firmly told me “Don’t trust your feelings”.   I have come to place of keeping silent and not trusting other Christians who presume they know better than the Holy Spirit how my Spiritual Journey should unfold.

What I am learning is to trust as He guides me to the books I should read and the verses in the Bible I need to know in order to advance along my journey.   I just fear I’m not “meeting enough”.

But, I still resist.  Each morning I arise with the silent vow that I will pray “first thing” before I do anything else. And, I most always fail.  Perhaps I should be praying instead asking the Holy Spirit to guide me into prayer  and for me not chastise and condemn myself for trying to keep myself in a rigid schedule of praying when I first get out of bed.  Perhaps there are other times to pray during the day.

And, just now I realize I may be on the right track…

Dear Abba, I just realized now that I may view You as the relentless taskmaster who is always waiting to condemn me.   Help me to realize that You are Love and have infinite grace to give us all.  Thank You for the Holy Spirit who guides us when we ask for His help and surrender to His suggestions.  Amen.

 

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~ by Andrea T on September 20, 2012.

3 Responses to “Resistance to Prayer”

  1. Wow. I totally feel the same way. I understand the importance of meeting with God early in the morning to start my day off right… and to put Him first before anything or anyone else but I still struggle with getting out of bed and doing it.

    I definitely don’t think we need to “force” ourselves to do it.. but then at the same time it kind of reminds me of when the disciples were with Jesus in the garden the night before He was crucified.. when He went to pray and they kept on falling asleep but they should have stayed awake to support Him. Sometimes I think we need to fight our flesh in what it wants to do (sleep) and do the right thing (get up and pray). Or at least that’s my point of view.

    In the Bible Jesus always got up early to spend time with God and I think it’s a perfect example for us to follow. If Jesus had to get up early to spend time with God and make sure He aligned His Will with God’s and prepared for the day ahead of Him, shouldn’t we? Thanks for this post. 🙂 Be blessed!!

    • You make some excellent points… thanks so much for taking the time to share your thoughts. When I was working full-time it was critical for me to pray early in the morning before going into work as, my jobs were so stressful. Now, being retired I find myself carrying forward the critical and self-condemning thoughts because I haven’t prayed immediately upon arising. Once I fogave myself for not communing with our Blessed Savior first thing in the morning I find I am actually praying in the afternoon and other times such as mid-morning or afternoon etc. and not rushing through prayer time. God bless you, also.

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