He Shouts for Joy Over You Zepheniah 3:17

Zeph 317

Zepheniah 3:17 The Lord your God is in your midst; he is a warrior who can deliver. He takes great delight in you; he renews you by his love; he shouts for joy over you.

When I was in my 30’s I prided myself on the amount of friends I had.  I’m not even sure I liked some of them but I collected people like a philatelist collects stamps.  Sometimes I would come home from work and there would be as many as six or seven invitations to lunch or just a friendly get-together. I don’t know why it was so important but, I think it had something to do with my feelings of being unlikable

My Father became ill when I was seven and my sister was nine. Mother went to work and by today’s standards we would be called “latch-key” kids. We were responsible for washing the clothes at a laundromat and cleaning the house.  I wanted to play outside and not be culpable for wiping drips off a kitchen stove or sweeping a floor.  I usually rushed through my chores and if possible, skipped them all together. Mother always found out. We cooked our own simple meals except, one Thanksgiving, we cooked the holiday turkey with the giblet bag still inside. My Mother worked on holidays because she got double pay.  She often came home tired and sometimes grouchy. I remember her sitting at the kitchen table, cup of coffee in front of her, stirring the liquid for what seemed like hours. Clink, clink the sound of the spoon clanking against the ceramic receptacle sometimes was fast and loud, other times it was slow and uneven.

Mother had the crushing burden of being a single parent and having to provide for all our needs.  At that time in the 1950’s most women stayed at home to raise their children. Imagine the resentment one would feel when the culture around you promoted new recipes or easy games to play when the children came home from school? My Mother was too exhausted to do any.

I had this overwhelming feeling of being invisible throughout my formative years. And, when I got old enough to rebel, I did!  I graduated from being a non-existent ghost to being a family black sheep. The trouble I caused my Mother and her anger at me has carried through the years. The attention I craved and ultimately received was mostly negative, but at least I was finally noticed.

It has taken me a lifetime to discover that there is an Abba, Father in heaven who cares about us.  And, I’m still in the process of trying to believe I am included.  Mostly my spiritual journey has consisted of “undoing” my belief in a punishing, distant, angry God and instead I’m being drawn to books and theologies that focus on a loving, kind parent.

I will be sharing some of those books in upcoming posts along with inspirational Scriptures. For me, my brain needs daily, positive programming.

 

 

 

~ by Andrea T on May 25, 2020.

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